I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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