why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
