porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
