Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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