Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
