but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
