just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
