dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm too high and old for this...
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
