I cannot find my penis.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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