I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
