I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
