you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize