You're my little dorito
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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