I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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