Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
