To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
