Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
