if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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