the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
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is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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