We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
