She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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