i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
BRING THE BAGELS
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
