chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
the liver wants what the liver wants
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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