If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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