im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize