ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
