I'm sorry my penis didn't work
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
