Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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