she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
