trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
