I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
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I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
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I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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