Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
