If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
