woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
