just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
