her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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