every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
