I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
