I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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