never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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