what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
