Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
