Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
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