He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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