How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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