The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
