dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
