Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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