I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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