Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
