I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
