Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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