my soul wont recognize me after tonight
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize