Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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