I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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