Say something about gay babies.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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