Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
