one two three fourrrrnication!
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sick fucks of a feather flock together
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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