some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
