its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
